Should you skip your music lesson this week?
Should you skip your music lesson this week?
Ever ask yourself, “Is this a good enough reason to skip my music lesson this week? Or to let my kid skip their lesson?” Let me answer that question for you.
You have a conflicting scheduled activity
Maybe. Is it a non-negotiable, one-time thing? Which activity do you value more, that or music? How often do you have conflicts, and how often do you choose something else over your lesson? Things like soccer games, dance recitals, and birthday parties can be good reasons for a planned absence from lessons. Compromises are necessary sometimes, but make sure it’s not always your lesson that gets compromised.
You would rather do something fun
No, you can do that another time. Having fun should always be scheduled around existing commitments, not over them. Unless you have no free time in your schedule, in which case you should reevaluate your commitments, because that’s no way to live.
You didn’t practice enough (or at all)
No, in fact, this is exactly when you need your teacher the most! You need your teacher’s help staying on track with what you’re learning and keeping up your motivation. Unless, of course, you never practice, in which case you should ask yourself why you’re even taking lessons.
In fact, if you frequently skip lessons for whatever reason, or consider skipping them, maybe you should click over to Signs you should let your kid quit lessons instead of continuing to read this article.
You are sick
Probably skip. Do NOT go to an in-person lesson sick; I guarantee you that your teacher doesn’t want your germs, nor do they want your germs migrating to their family or their other students. Skip your lesson and go to bed, if you’re feeling terrible. But if you’re feeling up to working on music, you may be able to have your lesson online, if that’s something your teacher can accommodate.
You have lost your voice
Maybe, but maybe not! If you are taking singing lessons, you may think there’s no point in having a lesson when you can’t sing, but there’s a lot you and your teacher can do that doesn’t involve using your voice. Let your teacher know the situation, and they’ll determine whether you should come, skip, or reschedule. (It’s worth saying one more time, don’t show up to a lesson if there’s any possibility you have a contagious illness.)
You are tired, cranky, or just not in the mood
No, don’t skip. Suck it up and fulfill your commitment.
You are having an emotional crisis
Skip! Health emergencies need to be dealt with before all other commitments. Whether it’s bronchitis or anxiety, if you are not well enough to attend a lesson, don’t. You may be reluctant to tell your teacher the real reason you’re skipping. I hope you have a trusting relationship with your teacher that would make you comfortable being honest about your struggles, but if you’d rather keep it private, say you’re ill and don’t elaborate.
You are going through a hard time or have been having difficulty focusing for a while now
Maybe, because this sounds like a warning sign of impending burnout. It’s even harder, and more time-consuming, to recover from burnout than it is to prevent it. If you need to clear your schedule for mental recovery time, find a way to do that. But consider that, while it does take some effort to have a music lesson, music can also be healing and restorative, and your lesson might end up helping you find more calm and focus. Let your teacher know what’s going on, so that they can be sensitive to your needs.
You need to do homework or study for a test
Probably not. Hate to say it, but you should have planned better. Now, I realize that schools sometimes have some really unreasonable expectations these days. If your teacher is giving unexpected assignments that require hours of work on a very short deadline, that’s an issue to take up with the teacher and/or the school. But most of the time, if we’re being honest, you’ve known about the test all semester, and you’ve had the assignment since last week. Would you cancel a doctor appointment or call out of work to study? Perhaps you would, on a rare occasion, but not regularly, and not lightly. Treat your lesson the same way.
Something came up at work
…. Look, jobs are important, of course. If it’s between skipping a music lesson and getting fired, you know what you have to choose. But most of the time - and I say this with love - stuff you “have to” do for work is really you choosing to prioritize a workplace that’s happy to take advantage of you by pressuring you to do more than your job description, and you need to set some work/personal boundaries.
You can’t afford to pay for a lesson right now, or you want to save some money
No, and if this is the reason you’re thinking about skipping a scheduled lesson, we need to talk. There are some teachers who offer lessons a la carte and don’t expect a weekly attendance commitment. Are you sure your teacher is one of them?
Even if they are, and it’s okay for you to have lessons less often when your financial resources are a bit tapped out, make sure you’ve had a conversation with the teacher about it. Sometimes your financial situation changes suddenly, and when that happens, you may need to make emergency adjustments. But as much as you are able, plan reduced lesson schedule well ahead of time. Don’t just make an excuse the day before your scheduled lesson.
If you’re going to commit to regular music lessons, you do have a responsibility to work out your budget. Your teacher is a businessperson and has budget concerns, too, and you’re causing them problems by suddenly removing paid work from their schedule.
Someone died
Yes, of course! Dealing with family emergencies and personal tragedies is more important than your lesson. Do let your teacher know about your situation. And if you want to attend your lesson, you can. You might actually decide you want to go anyway, to maintain some sense of normalcy, or to take your mind off of whatever you’re experiencing. Make the decision that’s best for your emotional needs.
Regardless of the situation, if you’re going to skip your lesson, make sure you follow your teacher’s or studio’s policies.
Be respectful of your teacher’s time and schedule; when you’re going to miss a lesson, notify your teacher as soon as possible. Do NOT no-show and offer an explanation later. Some teachers will not charge for a cancellation if you provide enough advance notice. But many, if not most, teachers require you to pay for your scheduled time, whether you attend or not.
Some teachers are willing to offer reschedules or make-up lessons; take advantage of that option, if it’s available, but try not to abuse it. If you’re canceling or rescheduling too frequently, your teacher may decline to continue to work with you. Even if they don’t, you’ll be compromising your learning by being inconsistent.
There are always going to be special situations that come up. But, for the most part, you should almost never skip any of your scheduled lessons. Why would you make a commitment you don’t intend to keep? Don’t treat your lesson as the pressure valve in your schedule, the first thing to get axed when you need wiggle room. If you’re going to make music a part of your life, commit to making it important in your schedule, too.
